Is My Baby Overtired? Is it really a thing?

If you’ve ever thought, “maybe they’re overtired, that's why they won’t sleep,” you’re not alone. The term 'overtired' is used a lot. Too much in my opinion.

Let’s unpack what’s actually going on in a way that makes sense and hopefully by the end of reading this, you will have that 'a-ha' moment!

What I hear parents getting told about overtiredness You may have heard something similar to this:

“If you miss the wake window, they’ll get overtired, produce cortisol, and sleep will be ruined.”

Cue frantic looking at clocks, nap anxiety, bedtime battles, and a feeling that sleep depends on perfect timing. But the truth is, babies are not robots! They don’t have exact wake-window cut-offs but rather ranges and tolerance levels, just like we do.

Is my baby truly overtired?

Just as we do, babies have stress responses in the body. When they stay awake longer than their system is comfortable with, something called the HPA axis can be activated. This can trigger the release of cortisol and sometimes adrenaline  - hormones that are fantastic for keeping us alert when needed, but not ideal for calm sleep. This is referred to as the sympathetic nervous system.

So what’s actually happening?

It's not that 'they’re too tired to sleep', it's that their nervous system may be a little dysregulated and that’s a very different way of looking at it.

What really helps with sleep

Here are some key things that help a baby feel confident about sleep:

• A fairly predictable rhythm for sleep and routines in the day

• Opportunities for regulation - especially sensory calming before sleep

• Connection - eye contact, warmth, co-regulation

• A safe environment

• Time - to practise falling asleep independently without pressure

How to support a baby who seems “overtired”

Instead of being too confined to the clock, try thinking, “How can I help their nervous system feel safe to switch off?”

Here are some gentle regulating ideas:

• Evening sensory play (10–15 mins):

  • Blowing bubbles in the bath

  • Gentle play with heavier, resistance items or textures

  • Rocking back and forth on the floor or on an exercise ball

  • Peekaboo

  • Deep pressure massage on arms and legs

• Connection Rituals

  • Hold the eye contact

  • Calm facial expressions

  • Snuggle and sway before transferring to bed

  • A simple phrase that you can repeat every night: "I love you, time to sleep"

Keep these bedtime ques consistent and it will really help with the predictability and aid your little one into a calm sleep.

What about wake windows?

Wake windows are still a useful guide but they're not something to panic over. If you go a little over, it doesn’t mean sleep is ruined. It might just mean your baby needs a touch more regulation.

Try shifting your mindset from:

"We missed the window, tonight's going to be awful” to..... “their body might need help regulating before sleep tonight. That’s okay.”

So next time your little one is getting more upset or frustrated after 20 minutes of trying to settle them, just take a break. Offer a 15 minute reset with calm regulation and try again.

If you’re feeling stuck, I help families get better sleep by putting everything into place. You don’t need to figure it all out on your own.

Get in touch for your free call here.